Artist LC

The pain of losing my dog to a horrible determinative disease has incapacitated me from looking at pictures of him too closely to draw him. The sadness of his decline and loss is still vast.  But finally I have felt able to draw him. Unfortunately I still cannot see well enough or coordinate using  real pastels, so have had to master the use of computer to draw him. It takes even longer than a real world pastel, endlessly moving the colours around with my finger and smudging it in virtually to blend them and try to recreate a realistic dog. The process is really quite similar but more exhausting and time consuming, though in its favour it is less mucky and more detailed. It is just the tools that are different. I still would so much prefer to work with real pastel and paper, it is hard to specify how nany hours and days I have spent drawing a dog on the computer. And then there is nothing physical to show for all the effort. But it is, for now, the only way I can draw. So here...

This is how I wske each day. This is how artillery I feel and look, ravaged by oain and paralydis, bksnked from thought and expression. No different any day. Always the same beginning. This is old art.  But it is the same experience today….  …..and it will be tomorrow sadly.  

  Poor Freddy died in Romania before he could be fostered or adopted. He was an older dog and his sad end made us sorrowful. I felt he deserved to be remembered, so tried to draw an image of him. I wish we had been able to offer him a home. I wish he had felt loved and special. This is the best I can do to honour him. https://pennypawsrescue.org.uk/2023/09/19/freddy/ https://pennypawsrescue.org.uk/2024/10/17/rip-poor-little-freddy/

  Right now my creativity had been further stripped away from me. I cannot draw pastels. I cannot think in pros or write imaginary stories. I cannot read. I cannot remember much if what I do, think or knew. But today I managed to write a poem. Everything is crashing Everything clashing Everything clanging Around and about and within me Creating a huge Insurmountable wall Of vast ever increasing    proportion That builds  Between me and you Between me And everything. The throbbing in my body Is raging  Louder and louder It shouts inside me. “Why are you shouting,” you ask? I am shouting Because the sound inside me is so loud So huge So vast It is drowning out everything quiet Everything peaceful Everything hopeful Everything that might, Just for a glimmer of a moment, Have been possible. All gone in a tsunami of pain Hurled at me On multiple levels, Washing away all that is good. Anything kind Anything beautiful in me Is crushed And subsided. I am gone. I am list...

    Great to see  me quoted and.my one finger art used as a poster to raise awareness of the difficulties caring for someone with complex issues, like me. HELPING SOMEONE WHO IS LONG TERM VERY ILL The manner in which you present yourself in the caring role, is critical to the success of the interaction. How you speak, act, move within the person's environment can harm, shock the person, lead to physical deterioration and distress, if it is not grounded in sensitivity to their vulnerability. Remember this, you can help or harm. There is no room for carelessness, clumsiness, impatience, inattention; the harm you can inadvertently do to a very ill person is not just in the immediate moment; the impact may go on for days, weeks, months and can be catastrophic. It is too easy to cause harm even by the simplest action, wrongly timed or inappropriately carried out. You need to be knowledgeable about the seriously ill person in whose presence you are, you need to be aware of ...

  Proud to have my drawing published with this very moving song by Greg Crowhurst  on PennyPaws website. https://pennypawsrescue.org.uk/2024/09/16/a-song-for-the-romanian-kill-shelter-dogs-who-dont-make-it-by-greg-crowhurst/