Finally I drew my dog

The pain of losing my dog to a horrible determinative disease has incapacitated me from looking at pictures of him too closely to draw him. The sadness of his decline and loss is still vast. 

But finally I have felt able to draw him. Unfortunately I still cannot see well enough or coordinate using  real pastels, so have had to master the use of computer to draw him. It takes even longer than a real world pastel, endlessly moving the colours around with my finger and smudging it in virtually to blend them and try to recreate a realistic dog. The process is really quite similar but more exhausting and time consuming, though in its favour it is less mucky and more detailed. It is just the tools that are different. I still would so much prefer to work with real pastel and paper, it is hard to specify how nany hours and days I have spent drawing a dog on the computer. And then there is nothing physical to show for all the effort. But it is, for now, the only way I can draw.

So here he is. This is our corgi. So loved, so missed. Still so close.