Artist LC

I have not been able to hold a pastel long enough to do a portrait for a few weeks now. But yesterday and today I managed a short time when it was possible. It helps to find something that I am able to manage as reading, writing, thought and memory are lost too.   I have to work quick. My already numb hands, with swollen knuckles, allow little fine control. Luckily only the white pencil outline requires accuracy and of course the beautiful eyes which are, in my view, key to a good or bad picture. I hope I got these right. This is sweet young puppy Alfie, still in Romania, needing a home and to be lived and safe forever.

This picture drawn over 15 years ago seems to capture the words of a poem I recently wrote. I carry the broken-heartedness within me. It lies heavy in my being. So many countless losses So many tortured moments. So broken on every level for decades. Yet still there is love There are blessings, There is joy There is progress Yet always in the context Of never ending pain And multiple daily inabilities  Unimaginable  To most Invisible Even to those who care.

Our beautiful corgi died tragically from a horrible deteriorative disease a couple of years ago. I have not felt able to draw him since, for it serms too sad to recall those last moments of precious time.  Imagine my delight then, when looking through some old pastel pads, to come across a picture I had done years ago but completely forgotten about. It was so amazing to see him smiling out at me. I instantly recognised the shape of his tooth, the sparkle in his pretty eyes. It was as if he was here again, saying hello. It was before all the pain and sadness, but because it was not familiar to me, it felt like a new hello from him. I am going to get a frame for this picture for he deserves to be on our wall. How amazing that a forgotten pastel can bring such light into the day.

This is Tommy, with his pastel, drawn before he came to the UK and found love.  Now he is an incredibly happy dog, with a wonderful life ahead of him, no longer stuck in a small cage. How utterly moving. What a beautiful dog. And what a joy to see the framed pastel, finally put up in its place upon the wall of a new home and so appreciated.. It made my day.

  Proud Greg can use my art and words so creatively This us what he said about this poster: There is no language to describe the horror of my wife's terrible suffering, the destruction of her days. There is just this everlasting nothingness, this eternal falling off a cliff into deeper and deeper agony, this never ending throbbing, burning pain, this crushing screaming sensitivity to light, touch, sound, movement, perfumes. After more than 30 years there is still no possible investigation into the specific physiology of what is going so wrong in her head and body, no full answer, no cure and no hope of a good enough service to meet her complex needs safely, not enough support. There is just her struggling in the centre of horrendous never-ending waves of symptoms, basically on her own, for even I cannot always help like I want to, without exacerbating things further, all these decades, the two of us daily left to cope with the intolerable complexity and suffering. And me, doing ...

  Giving a picture away always brings mixed emotions. I am of course delighted and amazed that someone should want the picture and it is such a joy to think it will be treasured and on display in someone’s house.  So much better than sitting unseen in a pastel pad gathering dust. This has always been my view.  But each picture I draw has a synergy between me and the dog or person. I feel a connection especially to the dogs that I have  been drawing, an empathy and a love and compassion for them. When I frame a picture I feel proud of it. It seems to come to life even more. When I send it off to live with someone else I feel as if a bit of my heart goes too.

  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQDRil_KVcI Greg has made this beautiful song and recorded it. The guitar playing is exquisite. I have drawn the simple pictures with one finger on my iPad. The photos are of the sky above our home. I really love this song and the healing prayerful words that come from Greg’s heart.