Artist LC

  I have had in my mind for a while now, trying a different style. This is only a small pastel on black paper. It is in honour of my two dogs who have died and our garden where they were happy. The blackbird remains coming up to our door to ask for food. The hearts hang in the garden, an echo of our love for our dogs. The flowers are a celebration of life and beauty that still blesses us despite our grief for our lost companions. The moon and stars and the flowers and birds are their companions now.

  My Art Web page has been updated. Do take a look. Thank you. http://www.holyway.co.uk/artist/index.html

 I found this pastel of Lilly that I did years ago. It inspires me to focus more on drawing flowers. There is always a paradox though between wanting to draw the flower perfectly on a botanical level of drawing and yet also loving the looseness of pastels. I hope to do more flowers as Spring comes on and our garden takes bloom.

  My life goes from relative calm to complete clanging inability to tolerate anything, tortured by sound, tormented by movement, unable to think or comprehend information, it is impossible to be the artist I want to be. This is me today.

  This is my latest portrait. I really enjoyed doing it. It was for an entry to an art competition. Sadly I just heard it did not make the Long List. I will keep going! “ My body is screaming . I am caught in a permanent long silent scream that goes on and on seemingly forever. My body is burning. The pain tightens like it has me in a vice. Each turn of the screw tightens the pain till I cannot endure it. My muscles scream constantly that the pain is hurting: hurting and hurting with no relief. There is nothing to be done to comfort this unending agony. I have burned nonstop for 30 years. Can you begin to imagine how much torment that is? How much torment without physical relief? Eventually I shout out. I can bear the silent screaming no longer. I am irritated by everything. Every noise is magnified. Every part of me hurts and burns. And within the burning is the continuous throbbing of pain on and on with every heart beat exaggerated, magnified, expanding throughout my poor demented b

 This is another pastel from my art books. Here I am, trapped inside myself in yet another bout of paralysis.The face is swollen, including the eye, the whole left side distorted by the paralysis.  You may think this is an exaggeration but it barely touches the surface of the agonising state of inability that renders me repeatedly unable to see properly, speak or move. Riddled with pain, swollen and puffed up I truly feel monstrously altered out of recognition.  Pastel allows me at least some small outlet of expression, so much needed, way beyond words.

I have just managed to complete this ~hellebore which ~I have been looking at for quite a while, hoping to have a go. Drawing flowers brings up a frustration for me, a juxtaposition between wanting to bring out the detail and loving a more free flowing style which I used at the end to fill in the background. I love the sense of flow. Yet ~I long to recreate the beauty of the flower and always feel I fall short. When I came to photograph it I was struck by the difference in quality with the kitchen door open  to let in more natural light. The picture looked brighter and more vibrant. I felt more pleased with it then.

  Whenever I start a picture I don’t know how it will turn out. Or if I can do it the way I want it to look.  The only way to know is to begin.  First I outline in white. It only has to be an approximation.  As I look closely at the picture as I begin to add colour, I can adjust any errors in size or form.  This is as far as I have got. Now I am exhausted and have lost my hand to eye coordination, so I will have to wait. Who knows how long?  Nevertheless it is begun and more than that, it looks better, so far, than I had hoped.

Sitting here feet paralysed to the spot, left side completely gone, I have movement from my wrist, one ginger, just enough to fulfil my desire to draw the daffodils sitting in the vase, a brightness and joy only Spring can bring. Frustrated by my inability to hold anything, let alone a pastel the tablet brings me a sense of release and a happiness that despite the immense discomfort of being unable to move, yet still I can create.  

 I came across this old pastel from about 14 years ago. Having carried continual pain for 30 years now all over my head and body, I felt quite moved how I had depicted the shadow on my face as a cross, eloquently shouting out the intense agony of every momentI that I exist in I feel that art can convey ,so often, much more than words. There is so much revealed through a picture. Look and see,

This is a one finger iPad picture, inspired by my feelings for my husband who is so loving, kind and generous of his time and self. He has cared for me for decades yet love remains strong.  When I do these type of drawings I like to have a sense of balance to the picture. This one has a wonderful triangular shape, which is always pleasing and harmonious visually in art.  

  I really love this picture of my dog that I sketched while he was sitting near me in 2017. It has a sweet, tender look. I generally draw from photos as I do not have the ability to catch a moment then record it in pastel  this was very rare. It has an aliveness to me, a sense of movement perhaps that is not so evident from a photo?